Making the decision to have a baby is not an easy one and one that is not to be taken lightly. Caring for a new soul takes a lot of delicate handling and many of us wonder if we will ever be ready for it. My philosophy was always that when my husband and I had created an exceptionally stable backbone as a couple, we would then be ready to bring a new soul in to the world.
We had to be so tight that whatever was thrown at us we would be able to handle as an unbreakable team. Then, when the time was right, we would have a baby. But, even in saying that, it is natural to have fears of getting pregnant and I, like many other women, have had to deal with the following fears and now having had a baby, I’m in a position to help dispel them.
1. I am scared to be tied down. Sometimes there is the fear that you won’t be free having a child and it is true that you will have more responsibility and it is harder to live the wild, single lifestyle that you might have been used to. But there is quite a profound and amazing way in which you become freer. Having a child makes you see everything again for the first time, because they are always seeing things for the first time and it is incredible to watch your baby do that and experience it with them. There in lies the freedom for us. We take so much for granted because we are so used to it. But having a baby makes us enjoy the simple things so much more and change our perspective. This can help dispel fears of getting pregnant.
2. I am scared to put on lots of weight. Many women are scared to gain weight and are not confident that they can lose it again. But really it can be easy to stay in shape when you’re pregnant and easy to lose it quickly. First of all, when you’re pregnant make sure that you are getting all the vitamins and minerals that you need, so there is no imbalance in your body; this will really help with cravings. Also keep exercising, unless your doctor tells you not to. It’s really good for the baby. Then when you have had the baby, you are so busy running around and breastfeeding or not, as the case may be, that the weight really can drop off, so long as you’re eating healthfully. Give yourself 6 months and put some effort in to getting your tone back and you will.
3. I am scared that I won’t be good at being pregnant? I think this was my biggest fear, but the amazing thing about having a baby is that we are made to procreate and this miracle of miracles just happens. In most cases the baby grows the way that it’s meant to, all you have to do, is to make sure the house (your body) is in order, take your vitamins, eat well and exercise. If you lose the baby it is ordinarily because it is not forming properly, and rather there is a loss in the early stages than later. I lost a baby at 20 weeks, which is very far down the line, and, as a result, decided that my next pregnancy was going to be an incredibly positive experience. So stay positive each time, regardless of what has happened before, many of us have stories to tell, but try to stay calm and good spirited, as it will directly affect the baby.
4. I am scared that my career hasn’t taken off yet and having a baby will prevent it. Ha! Ha! Is all I have to say to that one, especially being a career woman myself. It is amazing how having a child makes you so much more efficient as you have to get done in three hours what you might normally have got done in three days. Women do not have to choose one or the other. These days, we manage to do both. Babies do bring loaves of bread, so you might actually see your career move to new heights if you choose to. The other thing having a baby makes you do, is it makes you very clear on what you want, and teaches you how to prioritize. You can’t spread yourself too thin any more, as you’re time is limited.
5. I am scared that I don’t have enough money to have a child. Many people have lost their jobs and think that the timing might not be so good, but actually this might be a great opportunity to have a baby. They are as expensive or inexpensive as you make them. People all over the world have children who are extremely poor, the parent’s cope and the babies survive. The most important thing is that they feel loved and wanted.